Birthing the clouds

My fellow practitioners 

The heart of the ring of mountains resides in my heart ever since I left it a year and a half ago. The relentless drive to overcome the health issues I've been dealing with just so that I could return has lost its force with every failed attempt. So...now these words may no longer come from being in that environment. However, they will still carry the essence of the practice in some shape or form. I have been feeling the urge to write to you for the last couple of months, but each time this feeling arose, something in me wanted to delve deeper into the practice instead. I guess now is the time to see what unfolds in this piece of writing.

It seems ludicrous that whatever stories I share with you are paradoxically intended to see through those stories. Let that which has some resonance be felt at this moment and let it all scroll out of your mind just as you are scrolling down this page right now. You don't need to construct a mental framework for any of this to be used later.

Like clockwork, October pulled me into the shadow. The surfacing emotions were met by this pull to dive within and in this tryst the mechanism is revealed. Our reactions are not to that which is happening in the external world, so to speak, but rather to the thoughts and our beliefs around them. The raw energy that emerges out of them is pushed away and is caged by labels. Wrapped by accumulated beliefs and labels, we dare not look at, or worse, feel them should they ever arise. Since the holidays are around the corner, maybe it will be a good time to unwrap these gifts within us to teach us how to feel once again as we did so unapologetically when we were children.

We have an aversion to feeling painful emotions. We'd much rather console ourselves with a story about them than to feel them directly. I still find certain intense emotions, which are fueled by beliefs, take me over when they show up. However, I know that everytime I tread into these dark and dense emotional rocks I chisel off just a bit each time. So, I would encourage anybody who's interested to go into the practice of pure feeling, and keep at it, because slowly but surely these densities will melt into our being.

Let's inquire for a moment, shall we? When emotions arise, if we investigate them, are we truly feeling something called sadness, anger etc.? Or...are they just sensations caged by labels? Can we slow down enough and try to distinguish the raw energy from their interpretations?

Try to feel the energetic signature of the following process I'm about to share with you. It's an approach that came about quite intuitively and, for whatever reason, it helped open me up energetically at that point in time... So, this may or may not work all the time. Relax your whole body as deeply as you can, as though you are preparing to give birth. I'm pointing to the energetic sense of it because, for someone who's never had a child, I wouldn't know what it actually must be like but...this is the energetic signature of it that came to me somehow. Again...feel into these words and don't take them quite literally. Fair warning - I'm NOT responsible if you become two by the end of this process of becoming one!

So...where were we again?

Open up your being as best as you can to give birth to whatever emotion that arises at this moment while also holding the light of awareness, so as not to be distracted. Notice every flinch away from this acutely intimate moment. This subtle resistance can also be allowed to move through just as the sensations of the emotions themselves. If thoughts arise, they can also be birthed through your being in the same way. If you have a keen eye for detail, you will notice that even these thoughts are just sounds. The same stuff if you will. Any ideas about the one who is doing the practice can be allowed to move through just like any other thought. The mental images of the body, labels, and narratives can be let in and be released of their own accord. 

This flinching movement from the direct experience of presence has caught my attention lately. The tendency to get pulled away into the mind from being fully here is still strong, but I find this 'flinching movement' pretty interesting. And we can notice it just as we notice the sensations. Seeing it happen in real time seems to divorce it from its charge to get pulled into the stories of the mind. A subtle form of resistance or perhaps maybe the seed of resistance which has the potential to grow into a huge 'NO!' that is then proliferated and reflected in many forms of conflict we see in society. I'm sure this can clarify further, but these are what seems to be apparent to me at the moment.

Isn't it intriguing that when we birth a piece of writing or any form of art for that matter, we never know what's to come? It seems to have a life of its own, and it unravels itself in ways we can't imagine. A complete mystery to the artist himself. Would we even find a demarcation line between the art and the artist if we take a closer look? What if this is not limited to just art but also to life at large? Can life simply unfold in the same way?  So my fellow practitioners, may all these stories I've shared with you be birthed out of your being right now and allow the ever fresh flow of life to continue to unfold in its manifold mysterious ways. Take care and have a good day!

Attributions

Image by Enrique from Pixabay

Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/elg21-3764790/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=7087541">Enrique</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=7087541">Pixabay</a>